just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
