i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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