I'm going to jail i love you
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I would ride that face into the sunset
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
