it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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