i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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