Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
