This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
