well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
my being single is dangerous.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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