He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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