omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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