So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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