So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
