I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
