brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize