After last night, I could never be a politician.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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