I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize