whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
