Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
