I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Boobs speak an international language.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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