I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
