I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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