did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
