The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
