I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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