We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
