u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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