He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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