do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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