Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
