dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize