I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize