Your dad touched me again.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
