His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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