You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
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i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
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Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think your dad took our porno
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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