having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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