a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
