I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes