so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".