Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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