its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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