this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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