Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize