I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
