Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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