wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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