Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm always down for nudity.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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