I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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