ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
