i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
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Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
that may or may not have been my penis.
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