I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
