Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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