Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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