apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
