I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
