This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
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Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
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Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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