They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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