that's an acceptable place to lick
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize