now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
