If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
