if only i could text you this smell
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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